I sit here with my newborn baby girl sleeping beside me. Nova. I imagine I will have to come back many times to complete the telling of her magical birth story, as its a long one folks. Make yourself a cup of tea and find a comfy chair. Shes a mere 5 days old as I type away now, but between changes, breastfeeding, caring for my other 2 daughters (Mia 8 and Ella 4) houehold and husband, I want to get all the details out before they become fuzzy in my mind. So here it is.
2 Weeks Before Birth
I experienced a couple of false alarms. Which at the time were a let down, but after the beatiful birth experience we had now I know it just wasnt the right time. My body was gearing up, getting ready for the big show. I endured a lot of Braxton Hicks and a couple of nights with contractions that eventually died out. With my first daughter the very first contraction I felt was the real deal and with my second I was full of false alarms which made me very anxious. This time around I was much more relaxed about it, knowing the baby would come when she was good and ready. Although tempted I tried not to do anything to “jump start” the birth. She was due on January 12th, a full moon no less, But I instictivly knew she would come the days leading up to it. It took me three pregnancies, but I was finally comfortable enough with my body to check my own dilation. Actually I had been checking my cervix in the shower since before we conceived, trying to detect when I was at my most fertile to get pregnant. So about 2 weeks before her birth I knew I was about 2cm dilated. I was aware she could still very well be weeks away from being born, but it was still nice to know I was rippening up. I often felt like a maturing fruit in those 2 week leading up. I knew it would be a fast birth. My first (natural hospital birth) was 6 hours, and my second (natural homebirth in water) 3 and a half.
Jan 10th – THE DAY!
Like the days leading up to her birth I went to bed at night wondering if I would awake with contractions and would feel a pang of disappointment apon opening my eyes that there was no major action. It was a morning like any other really. Made breakfast for everyone, did a little yoga in the few positions that still felt comfortable and opened up my pelvic bones...ahhh that felt so good. I had spent a huge portion of my pregnancy preparing myself mentally for the first time. With my previous homebirth, especially going through transition I felt some fear and was somewhat disconnected from my body. I was determined to have a heavenly birth this time around.
I stopped working a few months into the pregnancy, and was so grateful to my husband for supporting us (a carpenter who works from home) so I had so much free time with the girls and for myself. It gave me a real opportunity to relax and focus on grounding myself. We live in a pretty quiet town out on the coast in Uruguay, close enough to the beach to walk to, lots of green and fresh air. Our house is small and cozy but was still in need of some TLC for the birth. My husband spent those last months fixing up everything like crazy (his version of prenatal preparedness we joked) We found a wonderful midwife duo and started working with them about 7 months into the pregnancy. They had similar thoughts as us on birth, respecting the natural process, and were very hands off which was just what I needed. We invested quite a bit of time together beforehand, mostly just chatting and getting to know eachother. Building our relationship and trust so we would be more comfortable and relaxed during the birth. I made it clear to them closer to the birth date that I wanted to catch our baby myself, that as long as they could tell I was apt enough, and in the right mental state, to intervine as little as possible. The most valuable preparness for me personally was undoutably mental. Uncovering and working through inner fears, relaxing with breathing, and visualizing my ideal birth over and over again were huge for me, my pilars. If I stubbed my toe or someone upset me for example, I would use that as practice to calm myself down, breath, ground myself. And much to my amazement the birth actually turned out exactly the way I visualized it! All except for pooping in the pool, thats always a downer, but part of the messy unexpectedness that is birth. I also worked with a Doula who was unable to attend the birth but who helped me emotionally very greatly and has become a very dear friend.
That morning I had a prenatal check up, the typical stuff. She never checked my cervix so we were unaware I was mere hours away from giving birth. I walked the 5 blocks home. It was a beautiful sunny day and I really enjoyed the walk. Got home and made lunch, then spent some time lounging in the pool (one of my favorite places to visualize my ideal birth).
I got out and came inside to continue reading one of the probably hundreds of inspiring birth stories I had been reading in the months prior. So addicting! And as I was lying on my side on the couch felt a contraction. It was short but felt like a real one. So much so that I started timing them right away with an app I had downloaded on my phone. So much easier than writing them down and looking at the clock. Im not big on technology, but this was a life saver. They were about 3 mins apart right off the bat. Not too intense yet but could definitely feel them. I sat there timing them for about 45 mins while I continued reading the oxytocin inducing stories. Within about 20 mins I was beginning to pace around like a lion and swaying my hips when a wave came on. I didnt want to sound the alarm yet in case it was another false alarm. I knew deep down it was the real thing but was anxious of getting disappointed again just in case it wasnt. Now as I said before my husband was on house fix up mode, and had just ever so timely uninstalled the hot water tank to do some repairs (we were planning a water birth might I remind you) He looks at me wide eyed.
“¿Que te pasa?” (We speak in Spanish)
“I think its time”
I had never uttered those words before so he knew it was go time.
“ok!”
Back to installing the hot water tank in a flash. We were both fairly calm at the point, just going with the flow, I was suprised how calm I was knowing the baby was coming fast and we were without hot water. I decided it was time and sent a message to the midwives about the contractions. They were with another couple about a 30min drive away from our house, so they said just keep timing contractions and keep us posted. I let my eldest daughter in on the excitment. She was stoked.
“Oh yeah! What can I do?”
So I got her timing the contractions for me as I puttered around setting up the supplies, getting the pool out of the box and finding the air pump. All the while stopping about every 2 mins to work through wave. When they first started they seemed a bit more painful beacause I wasnt sure if I was really in labor. I was holding on to this tesion of really giving myself up to the process. But by now I knew it was the real deal, my baby was coming soon into my arms and the world and I could let go and truly enjoy every moment. I stopped tensing up with the waves. I started breathing deep into my womb with each contraction holding onto a table or my kids bunk bed bars, with my face up turned to the sky, swaying my hips back and forth while making deep moaning noises. I was smiling, I was actually enjoying myself, that primative wild woman was sneaking up on me and I loved her. I asked Mia to find my birth playlist on the computer and turn up the volume (I couldnt deal with electronics at this point) By now marco was done installing the hot water tank. Yes! His chest and stomach were glistening with sweat and I remember thinking how sexy he looked, I wanted him to kiss me.
“How are you doing?” He asks me.
“Theres not much more time” I tell him.
He didnt have time for a shower, or hot water for that matter, so he jumped in and out of the pool to get semi cleaned off. We let the midwives know that the baby is definelty coming and to make their way over. Contractions are a minute and a half apart now and feeling more intense, about a minute long. Im still moaning softly though them with my wild woman coming nearer and nearer to the surface. I had a feeling throughout of feeling deeply sentual, moving slowly and running my hands over my protruding stomach. Sometimes during an intense wave I would hold my hand over my cliterous. Not to excite myself but almost in a way to hold the intensity inside. By now the pool was blown up, the birth supplies were on the table beside the pool, and the hose was filling it up with cold water while we boiled more in giant soup pots on the stove. It was coming together, I just have the urgent need to have the water warm enough to get in. I was starting to feel pressure down bellow and knew it was a matter of maybe half and hour till she would be earthside.
My youngest daughter was running around in and out of the house playing, she still didnt know. So I asked Mia to go fetch her so we could let her in on the excitment. When I told her Nova was coming she looked at me with a smirk and said “noooooo, really??” This whole 10 month build up of "the baby is coming", I dont think she believed me. She continued to run in and out as she pleased, though I wanted her near. Sometimes she would kiss my tummy between contractions. The air was full of excitment and anticipation. I told Marco to set up the camera to record the birth. All my favorite soul nourshing music is playing in the background and it makes me feel good. The midwives call, and I tell Marco to answer.
“Hows it going? Were on our way.” They say.
He tells them to hurry up as he says I think the baby is coming soon. They ask to speak to me.
"Hi, yeah, Im good", I can hear the drunken labor happiness in my voice. I have a contraction and have to stop talking, we are silent for about a minute as she lets me go through it.
“Okay were coming”
“Ill tell Marco to wash his hands just incase” I joke.
I take off my bra, followed shortly by my shorts, I feel like being naked. The pool only has about 30cms of water in it but it seems warm enough and I have a strong urge to be inside. I strip down to my birthday suit, just as my daughter will soon be, and slowly sink down into the warm water. Ahhhh. I sit with my hands between my legs and opt for a frog like position with my knees opened wide behind me, opening up my hips. It was a marvelous feeling. Both Mia and Ella are beside the pool, smiling, excited, asking questions. Both were so wonderful during the birth. I love that they were able to witness it, as they will surely carry that notion of birth with them when the bring their own babies into the world. My oldest had already seen her younger sister being born, she was a pro, a little Doula. For Ella this was her first time so we spent a lot of time beforehand discussing what would happen, what sounds I could make ect. We watched lots of birth videos to the point of her being bored of them, and answered dozens of her questions no doubt.
By the time I was in the pool I had completely forgotten about timing contracions, though they were probably about a minute or so apart. I was still enjoying them though I was really starting to feel pressure down bellow. I put a finger inside myself and announced with a smile that I could feel the bag of waters in my vagina. It was starting my come down through my cervix. I was amazed with myself that I was so calm and lucid. Marco comes over and bends down to kiss me, it feels so good, everything felt so right, so perfect, I felt like a goddess. Marco had put in a new window in the bathroom the days prior and the sun was setting and shining right through that window illuminating me. Heaven.
Mia, who had assumed a lookout post at the door, announces excitedly that the midwives are have arrived. He didnt show it, but Im sure Marco sighed with relief at that moment. The whole time he was so calm with me, it really just allowed me to relax and let things flow. I had told him days prior that the only thing I really needed emotionally from him during the birth was to be relaxed, to enjoy it. I didnt want the added task of having to ground him also, as his moods ultimately I absorb very easily. The midwives were so wonderful. With some 35 years of experience bringing babies into the world they knew exactly how to approach a birthing woman. Im sure they did a split second assesment as they came in the door, and realizing all was perfectly in order they smiled, dropped their bags to the floor and came to say hello to everyone. One of the midwives bent down and gave me the warmest hug, and conspiratory smile of “your doing it!”. I remember really loving that. While preparing for the birth I was worried other people aside from our family present would feel like an intrusion. But they brought a safe calming energy with them, and I felt like I could really let go and Nova could come into the world. They took my blood pressure from the position I was in in the pool, and had a bit of trouble listening to the babies heartbeat as she was so low and coming through the birth canal.Then they just sat a few feet away and let the experience unfold. I started to feel the uncontrolable urge to push. I didnt want to rush the process, as I was extremly aware of the need to let things happen slowly, I didnt want to tear. I couldnt believe how in control I felt, emotionally and physically. With the next contraction my water broke. I looked down and it was clear. I felt inside myself again and could feel her hard little head. What an amazing feeling that was! I often touch the top of her head while breastfeeding and remember that feeling. Magic. I tell the midwives that I can insert my finger about 2 inches before touching the head. Shes smiling and I think is as amazed as I am. Another contraction and I try not to push, I feel her head crowning, my skin streching, and I breathe and breathe until the contraction fades I feel her head go back up a bit. I know shes coming with the next one. Marco is bending down beside me with his hand on my back, the girls are a few feet away, hands on their mouth in excitment and nerves. The midwives sit a few feet away, watching if they need to step in. I feel the wave coming over me, my body is pushing, and now I cant wait any longer, I push with the urge. I feel for a split second the infamous ring of fire, which I was never aware of with my previous births. And as I feel her head crowing and all the intense energy, something magical happens. I actually feel the energy of all the other women that must be pusing out their own babies at that moment. I know it sounds ultra mystical and I debated whether I should even include it in this story or not. I had read birth stories previously of women having experienced this sensation, but even I thought it was a little far fetched. But here I was, feeling like I had for a brief moment in time tapped into some universal feminene birthing energy. Images of women in what appeared africa and India fluttered in my mind, as I felt the powerful energy of all women. Her head pushes out in a burst, and the relief is enormous. I think to myself I should stop pushing and wait for the next contraction to birth her body but I cant. I take in a breath and keep pushing with my head turned up towards the sky and a low guteral moan coming from deep inside me. And as I do so I become aware of the song that is playing in the background. I had made a playlist of 50 or so songs for the birth, and the song that I had hoped would play while she was being born was present in the background. ( https://youtu.be/D7os9V-n7rs ) I dont know if I smiled inward or outwardly at the realization. Ahhh it was like a dream. I feel the rest of her body slip out of me and look down.
There she is, turned sideways under the water, moving her little arms and mouth. Marco later tells me those 3 seconds felt like an eternity that I left her underwater, but I wasnt in a rush. I slowly pull her out to meet the air and put her on my chest. She lets out a cat like cry right away and we all laugh and rejoice in the moment. My brain is half pure joy, half analizing her colour and breath. Often in that last half hour I felt like two people divided, one part of me was measuring everything, keeping everything in check. And another was the wild woman, hovering overhead in pure bliss, I could feel both those women simutaneously. I rub her back and her little body takes on a nice pink colour. She looks perfect to me. We cover her with a towel and get to know eachother. Marco and the girls are buzzing around, entrapped in this new little creature in our home. Nova. We did it. The water in the pool was clear, no blood or anything so we knew I didnt tear. Mission acomplished. We wait for the cord to finish pulsing, and Marco ceremonially cuts it. I wanted to birth the placenta in the water so we waited about 10 minutes. But I quickly had the sensation of wanting to get out of the water, dried off and warm in bed with this little baby. I brought myself up onto my knees with Nova on my chest and pushed a bit to see if it was close. I could feel it then and with the help of the midwive pushed it out as she grabbed it. I always forget how big the placenta seems, and what a relief it is after it comes out. I actually felt lighter. So off to bed for our first feeding together. It took her a minute to latch on, and there I was breastfeeding again, it felt so special. I stayed with the girls in our bed oooing and aaaing over little Nova, examining every inch of her prefectness. The midwives examined the placenta, deemed it glorious,and did some paperwork there with Marco in the living room. Then they came and examined me, no tears as we suspected. We then weighed and measured Nova. A perfect 7.9lbs and 50cm in length. By then I was wanting to get up and move around, and also eat something. I had spent the previous weeks before the birth cooking up a storm for the birth and subsequent days after, but in the hussel and bussel the last thing on our our minds was pulling a lasagna out of the freezer. Marco and the girls took turns holding the new baby and we had a snack. It was dark outside now, and the midwives having deemed everything in proper order said their farewells and left with the happy oxytocin energy a birth clings and lingers on those present. I think I felt high off of our birth for about a week afterwards. Marco and I couldnt believe how magnificent it had all been. Everytime we would walk by or see one another we would break out into a smile, or high 5, saying, "we did it!” or “can you believe that?!”
And so here you are Nova, sitting in a fetal like position on my tummy as I type, and we are a family of 5.
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